Categories: blogs | dilemma
Increasingly, I'm realizing that the only blogs I'm much interested in reading are pretty personal. They are written by brave souls – some of them my friends, some of them strangers - who are willing to be honest, and vulnerable, and real. (See Steph, Ashley, Matt for a few examples.) They explose themselves without knowing who's reading or how they're responding, most of the time.
I admire this, and yet I am very hesitant to take my blog in that direction. I've been kind of turning this over in my head, and exploring why...
Partly it's because half the time I can't even find words for myself to explain my inner world these days. So the thought of trying to put it into cohesive blog form is daunting.
Partly it's because I'm not sure it's necessary to bare my soul to the interent – not sure that I have anything essential to contribute (though, as I said above, I very much enjoy reading blogs by people who are right out on their learning edge, and sharing about their personal evolution).
Partly it's a story I have about how the people who read this blog don't want to read that sort of thing. But then, truth be told, I have no idea who actually DOES read this site, or what they want (if anything). I also have this idea that I want this site to be a place where I could fearlessly send potential employers or colleagues without needing to wonder whether it's "unprofessional".
Partly it's that I feel protective of my privacy, and unwilling to actually share my deepest vulnerabilities, my truest self, online. I don't want to put that out there for judgement, interpretation, or other people's projections.
And so there you have it, and that is why I am often silent for weeks at a time. Just working through what I want this blog to be... And I'd be very interested to hear other people's thoughts on this topic of balancing privacy and authenticity.
Je suis d'accord
Mon, 2007-07-09 04:05 — Karen (not verified)I am with you on the confusion, and all the reasons for it. I have a livejournal where I react emotionally to things, and try to keep what some might describe is "histrionics" off my site, which I see as being professional. I think it's indicative of how as bloggers, citizens, consumers, employees, etc., the divide between "work life" and, well, the stuff of 90% of life that isn't work, is being revealed as a somewhat artificial distinction. It is to the benefit of some to maintain the wall - for instance, those that feel that having 2.4 children is more "normal" and acceptable to discuss in the context of one's "professional" image rather than sexual proclivities, political associations or other non-mainstream practices, and to continue to grant legitimacy to some forms of sharing and illegitimacy to others.
I recently wrote that weird post with my open manifesto because I wanted to stop censoring myself emotionally in discussing the things that make me passionate. I guess maybe it boils down to that basic rule: we can't please everyone all the time, the best we can hope for is some of the people some of the time. For what it's worth, I'll keep reading your blog, and will likely to continue to do so, as long as you appear to be making a concerted effort to keep it from being entirely self-indulgent.
As for judgment...well, there's room for respectful disagreement. I try not to see it as automatically a bad thing, but as an opportunity to strengthen one's resolve, or hone the prejudices, ideologies or positions of comfort that make people react that way. For the really intense stuff, like family or spirituality...I can see that being really murky. Sometimes I think that it's more important to set examples by doing rather than talking too much about stuff; but that doesn't work so well for transparency or documenting the process.
Maybe it's just a matter of allowing for selectiveness. I've recently subscribed to someone's blog for a single tag only, because I don't want to hear them talk about anything else b/c it's largely irrelevant to me.
Sorry for the braindump! I'm happy to elaborate or respond to any advocating on the devil's behalf. ;)
More of the same
Thu, 2007-07-12 11:04 — Ashley (not verified)Hi Sarah,
Thank you for opening into my weblwhirl and
connecting with me in this blogosphere. These last couple of posts
where you have linked to me feel kind of like you coming over to my
house with a batch of homemade cookies and welcoming me as a new
neighbor (or introducing yourself as the new neighbor). i love it!! and the cookies are delicious!
These
questions you bring up about balancing authenticity with privacy,
personal with professional, are such central inquiries that I know come up again and again for
many of us who use this medium of expression. For me it's also a
question around transparency. How transparent do I really want to be?
What is courageous transparency and what is naive transparency?
As I mentioned in my comment
to you over at my pad ;) The level of honesty and vulnerability in my
writing lately is a new turn for me. I'm trying to be really conscious
and aware of the calling I feel to be more vulnerable, revealing and
expressive about my process and at the same time I'm wanting to practice wise
discernment. One thing I discovered is that I think it could be really
valuable to have some sort of simple prayer that I say before releasing my
expressions out into the world. I sometimes write an intention at the
beginning... to guide myself in why I'm sharing. It feels like it could
invite a whole new level of integrity and wholeness if before I press
the submit button I ground the offering in some sort of prayerful
attention. I asked a friend of mine to check in with her friend and
rabbi (Rabbi Ted)
to see if there is already some sort of 'putting things out into the
world' prayer that I could use or use as a foundation for writing my
own. I'm sure if/when that emerges... I'll be sharing it ;)
Thanks for this opportunity to share, Sarah... your openess invites more of it!! And now I hold that prayerful attention (without words) as I press 'post comment'!
yikes
Thu, 2007-07-12 11:05 — Ashley (not verified)that last post is a formatting mess... sorry!
Balancing life with work.....
Fri, 2007-07-13 05:02 — Kirsten (not verified)So, I for one, read your blog. Its nice to still hear from your written voice/photo eyes even though you're in TO. Know I'm reading, even though i don't respond much. ;-)
David and I share a blog site, and have this same issue about privacy and blogs - particularly with David's work, and his need for privacy there. We put up whatever we want, but it is only readable by invitation, and up to this point, only really family. I'm expanding it to more friends now, but only because I'm just now feeling that it is worth a read/look - this joint blog version is kind of new. even though the invitation will be bigger, it will still be a closed party.
I don't like to be so secretive, but it is hard to draw that professional distinction you're talking about, as well as rid myself of the creepy feeling that old bitter boyfirends from 10 years ago will stalk me by reading the site. ;-)
Then again, a recent thought I had leads me to believe that now that i'd just put it all out there (if it were just up to me,).... seemingly unprofessional or not. Connection is more important than unprofessionalism, isn't it?
What got me thinking about it was a meeting I had lastnight. I'm still on the board of directors for our company, and the management team was presenting some 'core values' for the employees that they had come up with. I really liked the values - but with one, found the phrasing difficult. "We have a work and life balance". That *seems* great. But then, under this value, they discussed working hours, and how keeping that to a normal level helps people maintain relationships, build community etc.. They also discussed the "balance" of living in the larger global context, and all the effort put into recycling, energy efficiency, promoting cycling to work programs, etc..
The phrasing problem I had was that what they valued sounded less like a Balance and more like putting work into the larger context of our lives. Work not being a separate thing to balance with our 'real lives', but instead, part of it. That makes more sense to me - the whole 'work life balance' phrase seems a little outdated or innacurate to me.
And then I read you blog with that in my head.... and it made me think hmmm. if I value work as a congruent part of my life, why should the blog site be any different?
I could probably think of some reasons, but not at 3 in the morning. This has been a longer ramble to you than I had ever anticipated! Thanks for reading this far into it.....(ahh. pregnancy: loose random thoughts and sporadic sleep create some strange nocturnal activities. ;-)
xoo