Increasingly, I'm realizing that the only blogs I'm much interested in reading are pretty personal. They are written by brave souls – some of them my friends, some of them strangers - who are willing to be honest, and vulnerable, and real. (See Steph, Ashley, Matt for a few examples.) They explose themselves without knowing who's reading or how they're responding, most of the time.

I admire this, and yet I am very hesitant to take my blog in that direction. I've been kind of turning this over in my head, and exploring why...

Partly it's because half the time I can't even find words for myself to explain my inner world these days. So the thought of trying to put it into cohesive blog form is daunting.

Partly it's because I'm not sure it's necessary to bare my soul to the interent – not sure that I have anything essential to contribute (though, as I said above, I very much enjoy reading blogs by people who are right out on their learning edge, and sharing about their personal evolution). 

Partly it's a story I have about how the people who read this blog don't want to read that sort of thing. But then, truth be told, I have no idea who actually DOES read this site, or what they want (if anything). I also have this idea that I want this site to be a place where I could fearlessly send potential employers or colleagues without needing to wonder whether it's "unprofessional". 

Partly it's that I feel protective of my privacy, and unwilling to actually share my deepest vulnerabilities, my truest self, online. I don't want to put that out there for judgement, interpretation, or other people's projections. 

I should preface the following post with the warning that I'm not feeling terribly good about the state of the world, lately. I mean, I've been concerned about this planet and the creatures on it for quite some time, so this is kind of nothing new. But between Bioneers, and the good dose of reading I've been doing lately, I'm nearing overload. I mean, to the point where I've started thinking that I can't bring myself to have children, because I really don't think there's going to be a livable world for them to grow up in. I reserve the right to change my mind on that (since my biological mothering instinct runs pretty deep and it might win out in the end), but let's not kid ourselves: we are facing some serious challenges here on our precious planet, and there's reason to suspect that we might not get our shit together in time to turn things around.

So on that cheery note, may I invite you to check out Jim Kunstler, author of The Long Emergency and one of the foremost thinkers in the whole "Peak Oil" discussion. His blog is called "Clusterfuck Nation", and its full of thoughtful commentary on the pickle we're in. If you haven't started considering what happens when and while we run out of oil... go have a read. Be warned – it ain't cheery.

One good highlight below, from Winners and Losers:

We've done a lousy job of preparing ourselves to live differently. In fact, the whole thrust of American politics along the whole spectrum has been to keep the current racket going. This is why the only broad discussion now occurring over our energy problems is focused to the point of neurotic obsession with keeping the cars running by other means at all costs. This is true on left as well as the right. The left is lost in raptures of driving around in cars fueled by used french-fry oil. The right is lost in raptures of executive pay packages for retiring oil company executives. We are putting no thought, meanwhile, into how we will grow our food in an energy-scarce future, how we will conduct manufacturing and trade, or how we will heat all the McHouses.

(Note: Now that I'm hooked up with NetNewsWire, I think my stalking of RSS feeds is going to increase dramatically – for better or for worse! – and probably my blog posting frequency along with it. I've spent a good chunk of this cross country flight (thankfully on a much roomier plane than last time) reading through feeds that I have been subscribed to for ages in Bloglines, but *never* got around to reading online.)

Ha ha ha ha ha... This made me laugh. I've been doing a lot of reading, trying to sort out the "bubble that will burst vs revolution that will change the world" debate about the evolution of the web. I found the irreverant Go Flock Yourself quite by accident and just had to pass along the following. It's commentary on an excerpt from Robert Scoble's new book about business blogging, in which he gives his list of six things that make blogging different from other forms of media.

“Social” (did the editor put his foot down against “Socialable?”) isn’t a misnomer, but the vast majority of the segments of this “one big conversation!” that I’ve witnessed play out like one big shitty office cocktail party — a bunch of people smiling and nodding and half-paying attention to one another while their brains fiendishly work out the problem of how to refocus the conversation on themselves.

I had to chuckle. I love the idea that the web is helping people to become participants rather than just consumers, and helping people to find their voice and express themselves. But some of the zealous proclamations about the massive democratic conversation that is the blogosphere can be a bit much, and it's true that talking does not necessarily equate to contributing value to the conversation.

(Yesterday I also read "The Amorality of Web 2.0" by Nick Carr, where he writes about the religious fervour some people have about the web, and his particular concerns about the growing "culture of the amateur." I'll leave it to him to make his point.)

For myself, I am left to conclude that the important factor remains the consciousness of the people using the tools. Just as individuals have to learn skills to communicate and collaborate in the "real world" (things like good listening skills, the practice of not acting or speaking from a reactionary or "triggered" state, the discernment to know when your comments are adding value, and when they are merely masturbatory, etc), so do we have to learn and apply the online equivalents of those skills. I think it's this personal and collective evolution of awareness that will determine whether or not the emerging technology will live up to all its hype.

(Sheesh, and I thought I was just going to post the quote!)