A few weeks ago, a mysterious package arrived in the mail for me. It contained a tiara... and a gift certificate of sorts. The enclosed letter introduced me to a new site called DreamBank, and invited me to visit, choose a dream to support, and donate a free $20 at my discretion. I got to be a “fairy godmother.”

What is Dreambank? You could call it a form of crowd-sourced lending... or rather, crowdsourced giving. Anyone can sign up and post a dream, and then anyone can read that dream, and decide to contribute to it. A sweet idea, really. Kind of like Kiva. Only without any expectation that you’ll repay what you’re given. And you don’t have to be a third world entrepreneur to post your dream.

So... I went to the site, and I chose to give my $20 to a woman who is trying to pay back her student loans.

A stranger’s student loan might not seem like sexiest cause to contribute to... but it seemed like the right one for me. Because as it turns out (can you feel the segue coming?) I’m about to begin graduate school myself.

As 2008 dawns, I find myself in a place I didn't expect to be – back in Vancouver. Yes, I have moved back to the west coast.

It has taken me a few weeks to be able to write this post. I have had to overcome a fair amount of fear, actually – fear of whether I was making the right choice, and fear of how it would be perceived by others. But as I sit here in my new apartment, I'm feeling ready to make the official annoucement.

It's been a very interesting process for me. I spent just over 6 months in Toronto, and I actually kind of fell in love with the place. The people, the vibe, the music scene, the diversity, the many interesting neighbourhoods, and especially the whole community at the Centre for Social Innovation. But even as I was enjoying so much about it, I knew deep down that I wasn't fully committing to the place. I never changed my drivers license, for instance. I never switched to the Ontario Health Plan. (I should have – unlike BC's, it's free.) And most of all, I never managed to land myself a place to live that felt permanent. This last piece became a bit of a vicious loop. Because I didn't have a real "home", I didn't feel like I was really able to commit to Toronto. And because I wasn't really committing, I think, I never managed to manifest a place that made me want to stay. I felt like a temporary resident, and it got exhausting.

In any event, I left Toronto at the end of November, knowing I would be out west for at least a month, between going on retreat, and the holidays with my family. I put my stuff in storage and I took off, trusting that the answer would come clear. I was equally prepared to go back to Toronto in January and really put my heart into finding a place, or to accept that I needed to move back out west.

To continue where I left off...

After leaving Cape Breton, we took the ferry to PEI, where we were shown around Charlottetown in tyle by the wonderful home-town hero Will Pate. (He did not accompany us to Green Gables, but we sure saw it, don't worry.) I thought PEI was fantastic, but I was really glad to be seeing it before the hordes of tourists hit for the summer. The next day we took the Confederation Bridge back to the mainland, and drove to Halifax to meet my dad off his flight.

The weekend was then spent in Wolfville, NS, where my little sister has been attending Acadia University for the past 4 years. We participated in all the various events that make up their Grad Weekend. In the midst of all the chaos, however, I did find time to go to ANOTHER one of the mother of all yarn stores (accompanied by my surprisingly patient family) – Gaspereau Valley Fibres (emphasis on the GASP, which is what this place made me do). I'm not sure what to do with all the wool I acquired, it being almost summer and all now, but nevermind. It's better than buying tacky souvenirs, right??

So my baby sister convocated on Sunday (go Emma!), and then on Monday I flew from Halifax to Toronto. And here I am! From rural Atlantic Canada (which I really loved, actually, for many reasons), straight into the belly of the urban beast.

It's going to be a big change, and I'm just taking it moment by moment for now. I have a long list of things to do in the coming weeks... including finding a space to teach Yoga for Geeks. Stay tuned...

In case you wondered where I was all week (ie, in case you noticed this site was down)... my apologies. I figured the internets could live without me for a while though!

I find myself this evening in the town of Baddeck, on Cape Breton Island. I'm on a 4-day road trip adventure with my mother and sister, which started yesterday evening. Today we drove from Halifax to Baddeck, and tomorrow we are going to conquer the Cabot Trail.

Highlight of today was when we rolled into Baddeck, and I spotted a sign for a yarn store called Baadeck Yarns. We pulled up only to discover that... it had closed five minutes ago! And there was no one in sight. A look in the windows was enough to tell me I was facing a serious tragedy, but what could I do?

Well, enter my bold little sister, who is not afraid to ask for what she wants. "Well, I bet the owner lives in that house," she said. "We'll just go ask her if we can go in."

I protested, but she insisted. "What do we have to lose?" she asked. "The worst she can say is no! I'm sure she'd love our business." So we walked up to the house, and Emma waved at the person inside.
An older gentleman came to the door.

"Do I look like a yarn lady?" he said. "No, but you might be related to one!" I replied. Emma chimed in to tell him about my yarn and knitting obsession. "Well, my wife's in Toronto at a trade show," he said. "But I'll get the keys and let you in if you like."

Two nights ago, my dear best friend Kate threw a surprise going away party for me. Somehow, despite the fact that Kate and I talk *multiple* times a day, either in person, by phone, by IM or email, I remained completely oblivious until the moment of the surprise. So much for my blossoming psychic abilities. ;) She had been planning it for weeks.

It was a wonderful evening, complete with slideshow, band, and even my parents in attendance (you know you have grown up, I guess, when that is actually a good thing). I was completely floored and am still extremely touched!

What was most remarkable to me, in hindsight, was how many times I might have clued in, but didn't. It really highlighted to me just how much our perception is limited by our existing expectations. A number of things could have tipped me off, but because I had so much else on my mind, and because I was completely non-suspicious, they all rolled right through my awareness without so much as a ripple.

It made me wonder how much else is like that. How often do I completely miss what's actually happening, because I have already believed another false story?? Quite the thought...!

Thank you Kate... I will never forget it. xxoo

I realize I haven't been blogging much. A few reasons for this:

1) I've been getting ready for my rapidly approaching move to Toronto. Oh yes, it's true. So I'm busily wrapping things up, packing, cleaning out, and psyching myself up. I leave Vancouver in 4 short weeks.

2) Anonymous threatening phone calls regarding content you posted on your blog don't really lend themselves to a feeling of comfort about *having* a blog. And no, I'm not saying any more than that.

3) I'm less than inspired by my site these days, though haven't really had the energy to put into making it better. Someone sweet built me a new template for my birthday... look for the unveiling soon!

By way of quick updates...

1) I love Byron Katie. Check her out and watch the many video clips. She's just great. If you're tired of suffering because other people won't change... then take her teachings to heart.

2) I got do do Yoga for Geeks on The Lab with Leo! Airing May 4th (or was it 5th?)

3) Spring is coming and I'm glad. :)